Wednesday, 16 May 2012


My dear friend Sten died last night. He had been sick for a while and the hospital called family and said it was time to say goodbye. I was minutes late to hospital. He was gone. His body still there. It felt good being able to touch him and say how much I love him. Even though he now he could not hear me. Not with his mortal ears.

Sten is also my Carina's dad. Carina is the woman I was married to for many years. We divorced this spring.

Sten is the grandfather of my children.

When I got to hospital Carina met me at entrance. Hugging me and saying that "He is dead. Just moments ago." We stood there for  some time,  holding each other. Crying.

When coming up to Sten's bed I met my children. They had been there when he took his final breath.

I also met Britt, Carinas mother,  for the first time since after our divorce. It was great relief to be able to hug her and hold her. To see her again and when her husband just passed away was emotional and amazing.

I sat down with Sten. Crying. Missing him so much. It was a fine moment. Sitting there quiet with my children, Carina and Britt. Just thinking about Sten and how much he meant for us.

We were offered some coffee and sandwiches. While we tried to eat, the hospital staff "prepared" Sten. They tucked him into the bed, closed his eyes, shaved him. They put a rose on his chest and there were candles. It looked so peaceful. It was so pretty. He was now asleep. No more pain.

We said goodbye. It was hard to leave him there. 

Carina went home with Britt and children wanted me to stay overnight with them. I slept in the house I left just weeks ago. Was not easy to fall asleep. Had to swap a very wet pillow after a while.

I miss him.

Rebecca, my daughter, was with him in his final moments. Holding his hand. Talking to him. Telling him about all fun they have had together.  He left us silently and the last words he heard was my daughter saying:
"I love you, little grandpa"


  1. What a fabulous, tender story to share. A lot of family love.

    I was most amazed by the hospital rituals. You'd not see anything of the sort in the US -- it would be considered frivolous (and we'd be charged handsomely for it -- indeed, likely why it's not done as insurance wouldn't cover the costs). Sigh. How much our 'processes' have dehumanized us.

    Be well, and know that Sten's vibration patterns have just changed -- making him 'unseeable' to us. He's still here, just in another dimension. What a great legacy he left behind -- so much love and concern for one another.

  2. Such a wonderful tribute to a loved family member. In the end, family is family no matter what has happened in the past and it is comforting to everyone to be able to grieve and remember together. Rest in peace, Sten, and know that in the end everyone came together to support you and say goodbye. Simply lovely.